thotki:

thotki:

hey everyone im going to tell a really funny joke okay.

so. Dionysus decides to see what kind of parties are happening up North and goes to visit Asgard. When he gets there, he stops at a tavern and orders a round for everyone in the dining room.

A Jotunn in the corner toasts him, and Dionysus goes to sit with him.

“Tell me your story, friend,” says Dionysus.

“I’m glad you came to hear it from me, first,” says the Jotunn. “Else you would have gotten a twisted version.”

“Why’s that?”

“The people are not over-forgiving when they speak of me, I’m afraid.

I once hid a child from a troll’s vengeance by turning him into a speck on the side of a flounder until the troll had been slayed. But do they speak of my kind heart or my heroism? No! I once negotiated such that a protective wall was built around Asgard in only a few seasons, a remarkable feat of construction. But do they speak of my service to the realm? No! I once thought of an ingenious solution to regain the Thunderer his hammer when the conditions of its return seemed impossible to meet. But do they speak of my cunning, my creativity? No!”

The Jotunn drains his tankard before continuing his tale of woe.

“But you fuck ONE horse–”