bifrostedflake:

trickerydickerydock:

langernameohnebedeutung:

trickerydickerydock:

Thinking on it, Loki should really have just dropped the whole Asgard thing and moved to Greece to hang with the Olympians

Like, Loki’s worst bits of mischief, up to and including murder, is just Zeus’ casual Tuesday. Plus everyone is always busy either fucking with someone if not actually fucking them. There’s a god of drinking and theatre (professional artful lying, holy shit). Also a god of chilling in the woods and banging nymphs and/or lonely shepherds (ideal). Two love/beauty/lust deities (doubly ideal, good on Mama Aphrodite and Son Eros, great family tradition). No prophesy of an apocalyptic showdown to look forward to–or any kind of narrative to bind the gods, period (Fuck Yes). The local mortals are all nerds in togas or oiled up muscle men (c:). Balmy weather, access to spices (C:).

Honestly, it’d just be

Zeus: What convinces you, god from the north, that you have a place here among my family? Among the gods of sky and sea and earth, the gods who are all the power and inspiration of the world? What right have you, foreign trickster, to the gates of Olympus?

Loki: Oh, is this the job interview? Damn, and here I am without my power suit. Let me change real quick

Loki, naked: So my work history is,

Zeus, naked: Hera, have someone clear out the guest room

tbh this would make for a great story-arc, because Loki might be annoyed sometimes that people don’t like him, but in the end he’s also a compulsive nuisance and he always wants to fuck shit up, he can’t help it so if no one would react, what’s he supposed to do?

Also if Loki moves out (for the drama of it) the Norse Pantheon would be lost the moment they encounter a minor trifle (Odin could probably solve it, but he knows Loki would come up with a way of solving it AND getting a free, dwarfen-made golden toaster on top of it so he locked Kvasir in the basement and put a blanket over Mimir in case they come up with something and is just sending messages to his blood-brother but Loki leaves him on read. HE WANTS THAT TOASTER!)

Meanwhile, Loki, god of chaos lies and mayhem and whatever, is stuck in a place THAT HE CAN’T GET RILED UP. (i mean, the Greek squad also got a lot of drama going on, but narrative wise it would be fun) At first he’s enjoyed all the hedonism and drinking and messing with mortals. But then it gets boring (because for Loki everything always gets boring at some point) and he didn’t even have a world-ending chaos to look forward too. Whenever he messes with people, Eris doesn’t even look up from her newspaper but is like: Yeah been there, done that. They enjoy his flyting. No one cares about his magic tricks. They don’t mind shapeshifting.

He tried everything. Given birth to all kinds of abdominations and they’re all like: Yeah that’s cool, bro can we go back to the orgy? They didn’t even know the concept of argr and when he told them they laughed their asses off. His only problem is Hera, who’s jealous because she’s worried about what might or might not be going on between Loki and Zeus, but he gets that at home too. From Thor and Sif. Both, respectively.

Loki acts out more and more until he either manages to mess shit up up on his usual colossal scale and runs home disguised as a milk-maid or has to give in and goes back home to mess with the people KNOW TO APPRECIATE HIS WAKE OF DESTRUCTION and it’s tears and hugs like-

“Oh, LOKI! Njörd dropped his mead this morning and WE HAD NO ONE TO BLAME IT ON!”

“PLEASE YOU GUYS, I HAVEN’T BEEN BLAMED FOR ANYTHING IN WEEKS PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING, ANYTHING!”

Congrats guys, this is now the 6,693rd note on the ‘Loki Fucks Olympus,’ shitpost and it’s with an addition I have always privately assumed would be the logical conclusion to the chaotic sexathon, thank you for coming

Thank you for what now trickery? ;D