The Disney movie really makes him out as a sweet, innocent boy simply led astray, but the original Pinocchio is an obnoxious little shit. He’s horrible. Also, the book makes less sense than my dreams.
Didn’t he join a gang or something
As I remember he alternates being the worst little shit and being painfully painfully naive
Yeah, a lot happens to him that isn’t his fault and people take advantage of his naivity to make him do horrible things, so you do feel sorry for him… but then he turns around and is a jerk for no reason and goes around kicking his dad, murdering talking crickets, stealing, and being willfully awful to people. The Blue Fairy is constantly giving him chances like “You can be a flesh boy if can calm your tits and not betray everyone for five minutes!” and he’s like “That sound great! I’d love to be a flesh boy! But first I want to do crimes.”
Can you please give us a synopsis of the book cuz it sounds hilarious but I can’t be bothered to read it rn
A guy finds a piece of pine wood that yells at him so he’s like “huh this wood is real scary, I bet the town puppeteer would love it” and as soon as Geppetto carves it, it kicks him and runs away to go do crimes or something. Geppetto is falsely arrested for puppet abuse, Pinocchio comes home to eat his food, murders the talking cricket after it tells him he shouldn’t be wicked, and then burns his own damn feet off through sheer incompetence. Geppetto makes him new ones and then he fucks off to go to a puppet show, gets robbed, and then is hanged until dead. The Blue Fairy rescues him and the talking cricket comes back as a ghost to call him an asshole until he wakes up. Then he fucks off again, gets conned by the same people in the same way again, gets sentenced to jail for being an idiot, steals food again, and then The Blue Fairy fakes her death out of frustration with him. His dad gets vored by a fish, and then Pinocchio a good boy for a while, only to fuck off again to a pleasure island right before he’s allowed to become a fleshboy. He transformes into a donkey until fish eat his skin off, he’s vored by the fish that ate his dad, they escape, and then they both move in with the talking cricket who may or may not still be a ghost. Pinocchio is consistently good for a while and so becomes a flesh boy and looks at his own puppet corpse while contemplating morality. At one point, there a snake/train hybrid creature that blocks a road.
Ship there are time you write with the narrative complexity of translations of the Odyssey, and other times you write this
we can’t all be good flesh boys, Helen
Udgivet
PastelGrandpa 