artemis69:

I love to the death the soulmate!AU universe with words on your skin, be it the ‘first words your soulmate will say to you’ or the ‘first thoughts they had when meeting you’. And I’ve read a lot of goofy words, suprising words, romantic words.

But you know what I miss?

I want soulmate!AU that will meet in a stupid car accident and swear like sailors at each other about the paint job. I want doctors that will meet them as patients in their emergency waiting room only to find them juring at their broken foot. I want people that will meet completely smashed in a club and for their first thought to be filthy as all hell. I want soulmates that will meet on the internet and their first comment will be to congratulate the other about a particularly hot smut piece they wrote.

Now, I want you to imagine all these people as little children.

And I want you to imagine being their parents. 

Trying to protect your kid from them for as long as possible because “omg John no the first words my son will learn to read will not be ‘I want to eat his ass’!!” and “This is not even anatomically possible!”

I want you to imagine them trying to explain to biggot aunt Marth at thanksgiving why your precious bundle of joy has a beautifully described page 43 of the gay kamasutra detailled on his little arm.

I want you to imagine them going at the first kindergarden parents-teachers reunion and try not to cringe under the judgmental look of the teacher.

I want you to imagine the hospital giving all new parents a personalized plush bear with their baby’s phrase engraved in the heart between his paw, and i want you to imagine the look on that nurse face when he has to come into the room with the bear.

And then, years later, I want you to imagine the parents meeting their kid’s soulmate. Looking at them straight in the eyes and knowing. Knowing, like they’ve known for years, what this person has wanted to do to their precious kid in excruciating details.

I want you to imagine the first dinner.

Please just. Imagine these AU